Youth Celebrating Our Shared Planet
Why IS That Animal ….?
by David N. Aldag
“Why is that animal …?” is a familiar question to most parents. It is frequently asked by children around the world. Most every mythos has stories of how animals got the way they are. You find them in Australia, Africa, North America, anywhere people live in close relationship with animals. About the only time they fade away is in ‘higher’ civilization where animals are considered ‘too low to count’.
The animals one encountered in stories of more industrialized cultures are often just humans in animal form, or a spirit or god, not really an actual animal. Unfortunately this seems to have happened to Western European myths. Worse, what had been left was subsequently bulldozed by Christianity into fragments at best. Remnants are left of our folktales, fairy-tales and other children’s stories, but nothing really coherent. This leaves a huge void in tales to pass on to our children. We have an idea of what we are missing in “Aesop’s Fables” and Kipling’s “Just-So Stories”, but they do more to show what is missing than to really fill the hole. These stories as a class are usually used to pass on to our children important lessons for our society and cultural values. The void is now often filled by TV, and what they endorse I don’t want my child to become.
What we are left with now is biology and evolution. These may be literally correct but they are long-winded and boring to a small child. If you can’t give them a short, or at least interesting, answer; they will ask elsewhere. “Mother Nature” is a fine short answer, but it doesn’t feed the hunger for stories or help the small one to grow into a better being.
I could spend years trying to put the old stories together coherently (others have tried to do so, probably better than I could) but what little I find applies at best to European animals. We, as the North American descendants of Europeans, need animal stories for the animals our children see around them now. I don’t desire to swipe various Native American stories, because they are designed for the culture of their people and would be wrong both to them and to us. Don’t get me wrong. I love the various Native American stories I’ve found. I also like the Australian Bushmen stories and the African stories. If I get the chance I wouldn’t mind relating them. If I’m really lucky, we might get someone who grew up with the stories to tell them instead. I think people who grow up with the stories tell them better than someone who hasn’t.
I grew up in a family with many books and a great access to folktales and fairy-tales. They are wondrous stories with all sorts of talking animals, but not many tell you why a cat is like that. Or why frogs jump. Or why they lose their tail as they grow into adults. Luckily, among the old books we had was a group by a naturalist who had a small child. His animals were real; the fox wants to eat the rabbit, the frog eats flies; but in the stories were why animals were the way they were.They were set, as all good animal stories were, in the time ‘when the world was young’ (or the Dreamtime or long-ago and far-away) and Mother Nature shaped the animals for good or bad behavior. The behavior they exhibited was often the behavior they still have today; they just couldn’t shake the habit. These stories are from Thornton W. Burgess and I suggest you find them. They are available from Dover books or from Gutenberg online (at least the earliest ones). This may be a little crass, but if you purchase the Dover books you get the illustrations and they send money to the Foundation in MA that supports the preserve where the stories were first written.
By the way, there is nothing in these stories that directly contradicts evolution. Evolution says it would take longer than Mother Nature just doing it, but it also says it may have happened just that sudden as a possibility. I’ll be copying a few stories at a time, the ones that seem most appropriate to the season. Hopefully, your children will enjoy them. And get a few answers they like too.
The Bully Buster
(This article first appeared in the 2008 “Witches’ Almanac” from Llewellyn Worldwide, copyright by A.C. Fisher Aldag. It has been updated to reflect current issues.)
This is a serious article about an unpleasant topic, but I feel that it is very necessary for the parents of Wiccan and neo-Pagan children to consider. Bullying in school has had terrible consequences over the past several years. In Oklahoma, a young woman of Native American descent, Brandi Blackbear, was ostracized by her peers and suspended from school for studying Wicca, even though she was not actually practicing the religion. Near Detroit, Michigan, a twelve-year-old Wiccan girl named Tempest Smith was teased by her classmates so badly that she took her own life. Many young people who are Gay have felt so ostracized by their school peers that they have threatened or even committed suicide. Because Wicca, Paganism and other nature religions are sometimes misunderstood, because the Goth subculture or a Gay lifestyle are often feared, kids who may look or act different from other students could be singled out. Sometimes with disastrous results.
Pagans and other practitioners of nature spirituality have made great strides over the past twenty years. Children have won the right to wear their Pentacle necklace or Triple Moon symbol to class. In most places, parents do not have to hide their religious beliefs from the authorities, fearing loss of custody or visits from social services. Books about Wicca can be found in many public libraries. Paganism is favorably covered in the national, mainstream news. Yet we still have a long way to go.
Recently, here in our home state of Michigan, a bill passed the Senate and is before the state House of Representatives, which was designed to prevent bullying in schools. Unfortunately, this legislation has been nearly “gutted” by dubious wording, which could allow bullying speech and behaviors if a “sincerely held religious belief or conviction” is held by the bully. This is wrong. So what can we do?
As a mother and as a Pagan clergyperson, I’ve had to confront the topic of bullying in school. My own children have suffered from taunting and their friends have sometimes been subjected to hate speech and even physical assault. People sometimes made rude comments about these young people’s beliefs or lifestyles – including teachers, a scout leader, and a cheerleading coach. We developed several coping strategies, both mundane and magical, to diffuse this type of bad behavior. I’ve served as an advocate for young victims, with the goal of helping to educate their peers, and often to inform the teachers, administrators, community leaders, and other adults who should be providing leadership and guidance. I don’t have all the answers. Yet I believe that everything happens for a reason, that every event is part of a Pattern, and that the Gods direct us in situations that help our growth and spiritual development. So I will try to share with readers some of the ideas and techniques we developed to help children deal with difficult peers.
First, a parent must identify the problem. Is your student reluctant to go to school? Is she afraid to get on the bus, to attend extracurricular activities? Does she have lots of tummy-aches in the morning? Does he or she have visible marks or wounds that are not caused by normal play? Are his grades dropping, does he complain of having no friends? Does your child seem fearful of one individual, or dislike one specific class, or express mistrust of one particular teacher? Talk to your child. Find out if there is a bully problem, or if your son just hates math, or if Miss Jones is mean to everyone equally. Your problem may be solved by a tutor, a classroom reassignment, or by walking your student to the bus stop. He may feel clumsy in Little League, and need glasses. He might just need to learn to ignore spiteful remarks.
Some kids will make hurtful comments to everyone, just to get a reaction. “You’re fat, you’re ugly, you worship the devil”. Your child might need to learn to choose his battles, and to consider when it’s appropriate to ignore a taunt, when it is necessary to answer back, and when it’s important to report dangerous behavior to an authority. When my son was teased for his long hair, he retorted, “Yeah, I might look like a girl, but you look like a sheared sheep. So, you wanna play catch, or just stand there making dumb comments?” The other boys soon became his friends, and the teasing is now good-natured. When another child insisted on poking my daughter on the bus, she replied with a low, powerful voice, and bellowed: “Stop that right now, that hurts me!” This response attracted the kind of attention the bully didn’t want.
You might also consider helping your child to find a new peer group where he is more accepted. Not everyone is going to get along with everyone else. Your kid may be the belle of the band, the king of the chess club, but a nerd on the ball field. She may have to learn to acknowledge her shortcomings. Try to involve your child in various clubs, organizations, or different peer situations where she can excel. Your kids may have to go outside the mainstream to find friends who accept them. There are many covens and religious groups for Pagan teens, online and in person. Unitarian Universalist congregations may have a youth group. Spiral Scouts, a program oriented toward Nature Spirituality, or an Internet chat group for teen witches, might be the answer. If there isn’t a Pagan organization for kids near you, you and your child may consider forming your own religious society. Our Pagan church started its own youth group with service projects, field trips and campouts. My children made lifelong friends at the Pagan festival we attended annually. When things got rough at school, the young folks could call other young Witches for support.
A word of caution: As parents, you must ensure that your children are safe. Get to know their friends. Unfortunately, there are predators within the Pagan, Goth, Vampire and Gay subcultures who take may advantage of young people (just as there are predators in Christian churches, mainstream scouting, youth camps, or anywhere else). Be aware of who your kids are associating with, who is in charge, and what is going on there. Any decent coven, study group or teen club will allow parents to sit in. If your presence is unwelcome, this is a red flag.
There is also more media available for young Pagans than when I originally published this article. View Witch School’s “The Young Witches of Salem” at http://www.theyoungwitches.com/ which has videos and networking within the site. Llewellyn has information and books just for young people; their main page will direct you www.llewellyn.com . Facebook and Google + are excellent social media resources, but again, be aware of whom your child is associating with. Gay youngsters may find inspiration from the “It Gets Better” project at http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ . Pagan Space has pages for younger people.
Your child’s new-found acceptance in a different peer group may be enough to bolster his self-image, raise his confidence, and stop bullying directed at him. However, the school situation or team dynamic might still have a negative impact. If peer behavior is physically harmful, or contains repeated hateful slurs or racial comments, and continues even though you and your child have made an effort to diffuse it, you might have a serious bully issue. “Joan ripped up my music and hid my trumpet.” “All the boys are calling me a slut.” “They put a smoke bomb in my locker again.” Or it might be something even more dangerous, like the football team threatening a Gay boy with locker-room beatings. Then it’s time for parents to intervene.
Psychologists say that bullies suffer from low self-esteem, and that their attitude may come from feeling threatened themselves. They may feel powerless and weak in their own home environment. In this case, a constructive confrontation can be beneficial. Talk to the parents of a disgruntled student. Talk to the teacher, the principal, and if you don’t get a response, talk to the school board. If this does not work, you may have to speak to the police and the juvenile authorities. If a child is bullying because he is being harmed or threatened at home, it may be appropriate to discuss the matter with a social service agency.
Sometimes, the officials themselves are the problem. If a bus driver is making unacceptable comments to your child, talk to the bus garage manager or transportation director. If a teacher is singling your child out for punishment, first meet with the teacher, then with the authorities, including the principal or school board. You may have to speak to the teacher’s union. If a coach is behaving in an inappropriate way, you may have to discuss the matter with other parents or even the businesses that help sponsor the team. Occasionally, a teacher will behave in a very unprofessional manner. “Mr. Smith said my pentacle is the sign of the devil, and made me take it off.” If it is a clear case of ongoing religious discrimination, which continues long after discussion, education and counseling, it may be time to contact an attorney.
Your child has the same right to practice his religion as any other child. As long as he is obeying reasonable school rules, and the rules are equally enforced on all children, a student can wear his religious symbol, pray to his deities before meals, refuse to salute the flag or take an oath, or draw a picture of the Goddess in art class. You may have to insist that your daughter be allowed to miss school on Imbolc or not eat meat at the sports banquet. If comments from teachers or authorities involve racism, sexism, unreasonable demands, inappropriate remarks, or hate speech about your child’s religion, then this creates a hostile environment for education. This is unlawful.
When addressing school authorities or community leaders, remain calm. State the problem in clear terms, without calling names or making unfounded accusations. “On six occasions, my daughter Suzie was confronted in the locker room before gym class. The girls said that she was a Witch, and that they were going to burn her. I want this intolerable behavior to stop.” Magically speaking, you might wish to carry a talisman for protection, strength, courage or justice in your pocket, arrange to have the meeting on an auspicious day, wear empowering colors in your clothing, and perform a ritual beforehand (more on this topic appears below).
It always helps if you have some backup. After Tempest Smith’s tragic suicide, her mother dedicated her life to educating young people and teachers about religious tolerance. The Tempest Smith Foundation has a wonderful brochure entitled “No Hate” available http://tempestsmithfoundation.org/ . Other groups, including the Pagan Educational Network http://www.paganeducationalnetwork.org/ and the Pagan Pride Project have pamphlets, flyers and informational brochures designed to inform non-Pagans about the beliefs and practices of nature spirituality. The Pagan Pride “You have a Pagan Student in your School” is wonderful. http://www.paganpride.org/resources/pdf/Pagansinschools.pdf Most of this literature is available at minimal cost or free. Pagan and Wiccan organizations such as Circle Sanctuary’s Lady Liberty League and Covenant of the Goddess, and non-sectarian groups such as ReligiousTolerance.org, can help you with coaching, educational information, and referrals for legal assistance.
If it is a separation of church and state issue, governmental interference with the practice of religion, or tax dollars being used to favor one religion over another, you may get assistance from the American Civil Liberties Union, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, or a similar constitutional foundation. Both can be found online. If authorities are unresponsive, you may wish to hire an attorney specializing in Civil Rights issues. This solution is often effective, but it’s rather extreme. Dealing with the court system can consume a great deal of time and energy, it’s expensive, it’s mentally and spiritually exhausting for a family, and therefore should only be considered as a last resort. Before making any decision to consult an attorney or yank your kid out of class and homeschool him, talk with trusted friends or clergypersons, consult your oracles or guides, perform divination, and pray. The Gods may have a better solution for your family.
Sometimes, a bully is just plain mean. He enjoys threatening and intimidating someone he perceives to be weaker than himself. In this case, you might have to take more drastic measures. As you would in your magical workings, carefully consider the consequences of your actions. While I can’t exactly endorse using pepper spray and getting suspended from school for a week, it might be worth it if the bullying will cease and desist. My daughter once had to enter a physical altercation to protect another student. Yes, she attracted the attention of the hall monitors. Yes, she got in trouble. But it stopped the attack, and made the bullies feel ashamed of themselves for threatening a physically smaller person. And I was very proud of her for defending a young man who may have otherwise been badly hurt.
A better idea may be performing magical rituals with the idea of stopping the negative behavior. Even though a bully might be a danger to others, he still has free will, and to interfere with him can have magical repercussions. Remember that you want to change the situation, but it is up to the Gods to change an individual person. Your magical workings should be aimed toward modifying your circumstances, making your child’s environment more tolerable, raising her self-image, creating new friendships, and granting her the strength to cope with a difficult problem. If your child is being harmed by a teacher’s unacceptable comments, it may be appropriate to ask the deities for justice and to invoke proper authority. If your son is being physically threatened, then it is okay to perform a binding spell on a person who is capable of actually causing serious harm. Remember the law of return still applies. “Joan’s behavior cannot and will not harm me or my property” or “Mr. Smith has no affect on our religious beliefs or practices” are examples of spell wording that does no harm, yet brings about effective change.
Magically speaking, remember that new projects should begin at the new moon, that banishing rituals should occur on the waning moon, and that ceremonies to invoke a better situation should be performed during the waxing moon. A request for power and authority should happen during the full moon. The day of the week may be used to correspond with a particular outcome, for instance, requesting justice on a Thursday, calling for loving friendships on a Friday, summoning the entities related to education on a Wednesday. Look in tables of correspondences for the proper color of candle to burn, magical sigils, suggestions for spellwork, and appropriate herbs and gemstones used to create a particular condition. (Scott Cunningham has some really good ones.)
An example of a bully-busting spell: Inscribe runes and symbols of protection on a royal blue candle, anoint it with frankincense oil, and burn it on Tuesday. As it burns, chant “I call protection unto me, safety and security, as my will so mote it be”. (Kids are creative, I’m sure you can come up with a better rhyme!) Keep a piece of sodalite or malachite in your pocket. Visualize a shining, royal blue light shimmering around you, creating an impenetrable shield, especially when in the presence of the bully.
Call for strength, courage and dignity for yourself and your loved ones. Your child may feel safer if he has summoned Nike or Athena for protection, Lugh for bravery, or Danu for motherly comfort away from home. The very act of performing magic can help a child to feel empowered. And don’t forget to apply doses of humor. One young Gothic gentleman wore a T-shirt proclaiming “I only wear black because all my pink clothes are in the laundry!” This statement made people laugh with him, not at him.
Good luck and blessings to kids of Pagan, Wiccan, Heathen and other Nature Spirituality paths.
